prayers

he had his major operation for his comminuted fracture just yesterday, after recovering from chicken pox (etiologic agent: varicella zoster virus). ever since he called me last night, i still have no word from him. maybe, he's still in the recovery room or at the surgical icu sedated under the effects of his anesthesia (if he's given general anesthesia, that is). how i wish i was there with him. even if i stayed outside the doors of the operating room, i don't care. even if the surgery took place for 6 hours, i'll wait patiently.

as for now, all i can do is pray for him.

damn! i miss him..

his homecoming

he was supposed to come home this month - for me & for us.. everything was ready & i was also ready for him.. unfortunately, his homecoming had to be postponed for a while.. he had a minor accident on his way to work 1 morning.. how i wish i was there to take care of him, be at his side, give him comfort but i can't.. i'm miles away, and so is he.. if only i could fly to be there..

he's always in my thoughts and prayers.. hoping that his homecoming will be very soon..

thankful

thank goodness i'm used to all the pain, sacrifices of being a medical clerk now. my past tears were because of my immaturity and unpreparedness for accepting the reality of being a doctor, my excuse. my illusions of a person in a white coat with a stethoscope around her neck and a chart on 1 arm is still there, yet there are many more obstacles and hardships along the way before i see that. now, i'm thankful i didn't lay down my torch & say "i quit!" and leave everything behind.

thankful also that in my last ER duty (w/c was last night), the cases were all benign, no critical care. though tiring, the satisfaction was there - to interview and perform my PE, treat or observe them, then send them home. in a way, i was able to lend a helping hand to a complete stranger.

i pray that this optimistic attitude stays with me, till the end.