Life

This is my usual routine everyday - dorm/house then hospital then back again at the hospital. No variations, no changes. Nothing new.

Sometimes, I wished I wasn't a doctor. Sometimes, I wished I could do something else, aside from "serving humanity". How about myself? How can I serve others if I can't serve myself (vanity aside)?

Because of duty schedule, I occasionally fail to attend mass every sundays, pray at night because of lack of sleep & severe fatigability (especially if I'm on "from duty" status). I haven't been to the movie house for quite a while, always behind in terms of the latest gossip (hehe!), have no idea what my friends are up to nowadays, am ignorant what's going on with my country.

Because of these, my future's becoming dimmer, my path unknown, the road uncertain.

Where am I heading to?

School pride

Ironically, I only came to enjoy them now that I'm an alumna. For the past 4 years, I knew that they had been bagging (& bragging) about being champions of the UAAP Cheerdance Competition, besting other universities, being consistent with their flawless moves, awesome stunts, breathtaking flips & tosses, amazing mix of songs.

As I have been busily browsing thorugh different forums, reading other people's viewpoints/comments/reactions about their performance this year (even sarcastic ones coming from the students of their rival university), it was the best. Going at youtube, it had the most number of views, "favorited" and commented (both good & not-so-good ones, coming from students of that other university - sigh. why can't they good sports? such a shame!)

Admittedly, I can't help but watch their routine over & over again, hear their music, chant with the audience even if the competition had been long done. I don't know why this spirit of school pride just came now, after I had bid farewell to my alma mater last April 29, 2006 (our day of graduation). I can't help feel regret that I did not enjoy what was there when I was still a student, nor I was able to watch any of their routines when I was still part of it.

Even if I got my degree in Medicine last April, I know that the Thomasian in me will be here to stay.

Go USTe!

A Doctor Is Also a Human Being

Nowadays, nobody's perfect.. Yep! Even doctors.

For the past 2 days, I had viral illness, prompting me to miss my duties at the hospital (even the activities of being on 24 hr duty). My symptoms - fever, headache, body malaise, cough & colds, hoarseness. In short, the typical flu-like symptoms. My signs - congested pharynx but thanks to the lozenges I've been taking since monday night, the congestion was short-lived. My diagnosis: systemic viral illness (SVI). No need for any antibiotics at this time. Thankfully, I didn't had any rashes, nor bleeding episodes, nor abdominal pain (except when I was hungry. Haha!), nor passage of any dark colored stools. Or else, I would be having dengue and God knows where I will be admitted to. Fortunately, my fever's gone now, and I'm back into action tomorrow.

As usual, I'll face the consequences of my absence today. I asked one of my groupmates to go on duty today to cover for me. As for my part, I'll go on duty tomorrow and on sunday. Unless, some miracle will happen on my favor (which I believe will not actually happen. Asa pa ako, no?) The monitors know my duty schedule since I already informed them about it so that they won't worry who's going to be on duty today & tomorrow.

I hope I'll be able to handle the pressure tomorrow. I hope my body can handle the stress. I hope my mind can fight the emotional & psychological pain.

Good luck to me! I need it.

From Duty..

Yesterday's tour of duty was so far, the best, most accomplished, most productive I've done since I started my internship. Though I know I still have flaws in the way I endorsed our patients this morning, I feel I have done great since it was I who made the rounds. After the mock endorsements at midnight (before my residents rested & told us to sleep for a while), I went back to check on our patient's antibiotics (if they have one), assessed the outputs (urobag, Jackson-Pratt drain, thorabottle, colostomy bag), read doctors' orders, reviewed the charts for any plans of operations, looked through the results of different ancillary procedures done. I didn't receive any commendation verbally but I saw one of the residents on duty last night nodding his head, as if telling me that I really did my rounds well. I liked my post yesterday.

On my next duty on friday (hmm. which reminds me, it's also my birthday!), I'll be on a different post. Hopefully, I'll have the same enthusiasm with the way I do my rounds like yesterday, or even better. And that the way I endorse the patients on saturday will be the same, or even greater. So that, I could earn their trust.

Hope I could handle the pressure.

When the Skies Opened

The skies opened up it's fury last night for more than 1 hour. It did not happen just once, but twice. With strong winds, thunder, and lightning, it was the perfect setting to sleep all night long. Never mind the soap operas, reality shows, tv series, movies they'll miss. As long as they know their dry, safe, well rested, they're fine. But that didn't happen to me.

I was persistent on having a good time with friends last night, looking for a way to unwind. We agreed to meet early so that we can leave early. However, rain poured heavily along the way. It was still pouring hard when our group was finally complete. By the time we got to Tomas Morato, we were hungry because of the heavy traffic due to flooded streets. Made me worried how Dapitan was then. We got on our ways separately between 10-11 pm. Unfortunately, it started raining again. The traffic was horrible. The streets were flooded. Light cars can not pass, including taxis. Left with no choice, I walked through the flooded waters (yikes! ewww!). Many commuters were doing the same thing so I thought "might as well go with the flow". After 30 minutes, I was at the dorm room, drying up, washing my legs heavily with alcohol, praying that I didn't had any open wounds (or else, I get leptospirosis). Somehow, I regret what I did & the consequences it did - slept late, spent a lot of money, broke a nice sandal (sorry mom!), and lied.

Tsk tsk..

i'm back..

Many things have happened since I began my internship, since I stepped into the lobby of Manila Doctors Hospital - learned a lot clinically & academically (I did?!) speaking, made a lot of mistakes (almost always. hehe!), made a lot of acquaintances (no enemies. hey! I already reconciled with him. 'nuf of that), lost a significant # of hours of sleep, failed to catch good movies on the big screen, disappointed some non-medical friends, and yes, ignored my honey's calls many times (thankfully, he knows why). In short, I was pretty busy. Well, it was so damn obvious, isn't it?

I spent my June under Pediatrics. I abhored the way they conducted their endorsements every morning. It takes about 3-4 hours on the average because of the "stories" and interruptions made by anyone who walks into the door of the office. Sometimes, they aren't done with their rounds yet that we have to wait for them impatiently. Talk about obedience to the time. Then, there goes the frequent calls/paging to the wards, the calls of consultants asking for updates or anything else under the sun regarding their patients or something else. Sometimes, going to the out-patient department or delivery room (to catch a baby) becomes a blessing-in-disguise/excuse for me to get outta there. But in other aspects, it was okay for me. Too bad I'm not done with it yet. I'm going back there May 2007 to finish my 2nd month. Am I excited for it? Heck no!

My first real (meaning, I spent entire 2 months) rotation was at OB-Gyne from July to August. One of our groupmates in Pediatrics separated from us. So we were just 5. A new intern joined us just for a 24-hour duty with me. Unfortunately, she quit (& so did her bf). So we had no choice but to revise our schedule and be on "sliding" - go on a 24-hr duty every other day (damn! it was so damn tiring!). Come mid-July, someone introduced himself to us as our new groupmate. He made his courtesy call & we oriented him. Unfortunately (again!), he quit on his first day. Rumors say that his girlfriend decided first to quit & he just followed her. We just accepted the fact that we will be on sliding for 1 month. By August, a co-intern was transferred from the minors rotation to our group. We were relieved that we will officially (totoo na talaga 'to) go on a "every 3 days" duty rotation. And so it did.

There was an incident during the 1st few weeks. I was at the out-patient department & we were almost done. A tall guy approached me (I didn't know that he was a surgery resident) & told me that he has a patient with me for gynecologic consult. The timing was wrong - we were seeing obstetric patients then. But still we entertained them. But before that, I was told coldly I'd see the patient & told them to sit for a while. The impact on him was bad. (I know! I regret doin it & acting that way). Few days passed & I was surprised to hear rumors about me & my attitude - that a surgery resident is cursing & threatening me about insubordination & being nastily cold (Is this the right term for "masungit"? Help!). At first, I kept on denying but I later realized I really did it. Instead of chasing after him when the issue was still hot, I decided to let it pass for a while (make others realize that the issue's gone) & talk to him when I'm on surgery. Thankfully, I made the right decision. I also got an advice from a good friend on how to approach him (make "lambing", but how?) We talked about it during our previous duty and we are ok now. I think.

Honestly, I can't say if I did enjoy my rotation here. I felt more of a clerk/"utusan" rather than an intern because of the numerous tasks we did (most of the time not related to what we learned during our formal schooling). Sure, I learned to read a partograph, performed PE, speculum exam & internal exam to our out patients, assist at different procedures. And that's it. I suddenly missed my Fabella days of delivering babies, even if I won't take this during my Residency training. As they say, save the best (year) for last. I'm happy I finished 2 months. I'm relieved I'm done with it. I'm glad it's over. Hopefully, I won't come back there. Keeping my fingers crossed, I don't have any make ups (since I didn't have any absences and I have merits). Hehe!

Presently, I'm at Surgery. We are still at our 1st 2 weeks and I'd say I'm still on the adjustment stage. Everytime I hear anything that involes my past rotation makes me jump out of my seat. It takes a while before the thought sinks that I'm in a new department now. Well, it takes some getting used to. Not to forget, I'm more laxed now (isn't it obvious? I'm blogging! :p). Another, getting our patient's history & PE is lighter. So far, I'm having a blast! Besides, the Operating Room is more well lit, livelier than the Delivery Room. I get to do my own rounds in the evenings (when I'm on duty), at my own pace. Hopefully, I just don't get interrupted by any calls from the ER, floors, or even at the OR. Anyhow, this is where the real action is. If I'm not skinny, I'd choose Surgery over Internal Medicine for my residency. But who knows? One of the Surg residents is a skinny (well, I'd say slim but just to point out that she's not medium built either) female. Maybe, I could do it too.

Well, we'll see.

More to come. When? Don't know. Have no idea.